Monday, November 24, 2014

At Least Khadgar Done Gots Chicken

So, them history books is all gonna talks about the heroic campaign where a few brave souls done led a couragified assault through the Dark Portal against them Iron Hordies. But them history books, they's usually more interesteds in tellin' a good story than in reportin' the less-than-beautifuls truths sometimes. Here be how it really went down:
 

Ratshag: OK guys goin' through this portal done always caused us troubles in the past. Does anybody realies want to go through? Or can we just seal it off from the outside?

Kinnavieve: I think Khadgar wants to quest in there.

Ratshag: Bugger wants XP? Ain't he alreadies boss level?

Kinnavieve: Yes, but he wants better transmog gear. His selfies will get more likes.

Ratshag: Bugger me with a chainsaw....

Ratshag: Okay, what we'll do is, I'll runs in first. Gather up all them orcs. We can kinda just blast them flubbernuggers all down. I's gonna use Intimidating Shout fer ta kinda scatter them so we ain't gotta fight a whole bunch of them alls at once.


Ratshag: I's gonna need Goblin Hunter Boy (by night known as Fezziwhig) ta frost trap them gronns. Keeps 'em back, not haveta fight too many at once.

Ratshag: When he done done that, Creighton needs fer ta run in an' Frost Nova them ogres.

Ratshag: We's gonna establish a perimeter, pull the glubbernubber Warsongs in, so's we can AoE, so's we can get 'em down fast. 'Cause we's bringing all these guys. I means, we's gonna be in trouble if we cain't get 'em down quick. I thinks what it be a pretty good plan, should gets us in there jus' fine.

Ratshag: Whatcha think, Mouse? Can ya gives me a number crunchification real quicks?

Danger Mouse: I'm coming up with 32.33, repeating of coursse, percentage of sssurvival.

Ratshag: Is a lot better than we usually does. All right you buggers, thumbs up, let's fuhggin' do this-

Khadgar: For AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZEROTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ratshag: Oh fuhg, he just ran in!

Various voices:

Save him!

Oh sweet Elune!

Stick to the plan!

Oh sweet Elune let's go let's go!

Stick to the plan, stick to the plan!

Oh bugger - oh fuug. Do Frost Block!

Hurry up!

It's on cooldown!

I can't move! I can't move!

What the hell?

Don't let Guldan out, it'll close the Portal!

By the Light!

I don't think you can cast with that shit.

Oh my god.

Well don't let him go!

Gods dammit Khadgar, gods dammit!

Khadgar you moron.

I'm trying. It's not my fault.

Who's got a hearthstone? We do have a hearthstone back ta Pandaria, don't we?

Oh crap. Oh for-

Khadgar: At least I have chicken

Friday, November 21, 2014

The Great Corgi Massacre

A bugger would think, what afters ten years, Blizzard would done figger out a way fer ta deliver account-unique items withouts mailin' one ta every dang team member, forcin' us ta personallies put down all but one of the poor things.


Yeah, that'd be a "no".

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

A True Blacksmith Forges His Own Pet

Professions In WoD: Part 4 Of Several


So, here we is. Rampagin' through the portal, settin' up our garrisons, dashin' to 100, and figgerin' out this here new profession system, with it's daily cooldowns. Which is really how it mostly was since MoP 5.1, we just didn't notice 'cause we'd alreadies skilled up.


So here's a thing fer you buggers. A tip, kinda. If yer needin' fer ta get you some epics (or heroic-level swords) as fast as possibles, then go do those. But if'n ya gots a bit of flexibilities, there be some more efficient ways fer ta skill up. The epics, they all gives ya a skill point fer every ten reagents what is needed. So fer examples, a truesteel breastplate done needs 100 truesteel ingots an' gives ya 10 skill ups. But now a Soul of the Forge, what be a lil' flamey bugger of a pet, he only needs 50 ingots but he still gives ya 10 skill ups. Not bad, eh? Half as many means twice as good. And then there's the re-roll tokens - the grinder an' the reshaper. Thems is three skill ups fer onlies ten ingots, which be even betters. Other professions, they gots similars.


Remembers, the higher yer skill, the more ingots or hexweaves or crystals or whatevers ya get from yer daily transmute. So, skillin' up faster is better, if'n ya can affords ta be flexible with what ya makes the first coupla weeks.

Saturday, November 15, 2014

Is Can Logs Inta WoW Normals Again

But afters two nights of stayin' up tryin fer ta get in, watching the queue tick down from 2000 ta 1500 ta 1000 ta 500 ta 32, onlies ta get disconnected and havin' ta start overs ....

.... Buffy the Perky Puginator done be too tired ta play.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Blizz Shoots They's WoD Tonight

Everybodies get all stocked up on IVs fer injectin' Mountain Dew and catheters so ya ain't gotta go bio? If not, ya still gots a few hours ta run ta the store an' stock up. Best get a move on.

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Do Not Want

I were lookin' through the notes overs on mmo-champion from one of the T&A sessions at BlizzCon, an' I done saw this puppy:

"The team can make one click milling and prospecting if it is something players want."

If we want? If we want??!?

Lemme explain you, Blizz. We plays this game fer funs. Is why we be here, payin' out subscriptions month afters month. We wants our fun. Is be our mode and modus. An' there ain't nuthin - I means nuthin' - what be more fun than:

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....
*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....
*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....
*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

*click spell*
*click herbs*
....
....
....
....

(repeat 873 more times)

Seriouslies, Blizz, whyfuhg would anybodies want fer ta replace that with:


*click spell*

Thems of us what be inscriptions gives ourselves blisters milling hundreds of herbs a week because is what we wants. Clickin' the same things over an' an' over' an' over be our mode an' modus. It be our central kick. Is how we like it. Ain't nobodies wants fer ta go ta a better way jus' cause it'd make sense. That way lies madness.

Listen ta yer players, Blizz. Don' be gettin' all radicals and dumbin' down the game. If'n we wanted ya ta change it, we'd be writin' blog posts or sumthin'.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Happy BlizzCon, You Buggers!

If'n yer there, hope yer havin' funs. Be sures ta drop by the TNB party an' say hellos ta Fim and Hydra fer me.

If'n ya ain't there but yer watchin' the at-home feeds, hopes yer gettin' fer ta see some cool stuffs and informationalications. Plus, ya know, murloc pet, which always be cool.

And if'n yer just checkin' Twitter fer ta see if anythin' interestin' pops up, but mostlies ya just wants it ta hurry the fuhg up an' finish so's we can has our expansion alreadies ....

.... well then I's right there with ya.